Posted by todd
Wed, 11 Jan 2006 13:43:00 GMT
Aaah Startup companies.... I'm back where I'm meant to be.
It's a pretty stressful place, we make no money (which you may not realize, IS important for companies to do). Basically my job to build something that we can sell to the mobile phone companies, before we run out of money...and do it while keeping up with a CEO who shows up asking for custom demo 1 hour before the client arrives (he didn't get it).
I wouldn't trade it for another "easy" job, unless I needed a nap, but there are some downsides.
Here they are:
1. I hate fat people on airplanes.
2. I hate kids on airplanes.
3. I *really* hate fat kids on airplanes.
I'd gladly pay an extra couple hundred bucks per trip if American would promise me that it would be only average sized people over age 15 aboard. Fifty bucks more if they capped it at 60 years old. There, I solved the airline bankruptcy problem.
So when Little Susie Sausage Legs sat behind me squealing like she had just caught the ho-ho truck, I was somewhat displeased. Her little brother was with her, and a mother, who was clearly just outnumbered. She actually told the stewardess "I'm glad we are back here, so they can be a bit more like kids". I think may have caught my thoughts on that plan when I looked at her.
But! Susie Sausage Legs was not one to be hushed. My trusty iPod saved the day though.
Jay-Z beats Susie any day.
Then, she started kicking the seat.
Then she started kicking my foot bar. AHA! Something I can react to. Wait for it... waaaait for it.... KICK! That little girl probably burned 75 calories she jumped so damn high. Nobody kicked my seat again after that.
After landing in Baltimore, I spent the rest of the night investigating male birth control. That trip preeeetty much closed the door on my wanting kids. I never wanted them, but people keep saying I will. Those people are wrong. Unfortunately, the only way for a guy to have more birth control than a rubber, is to get himself CUT! As they say in Raleigh, that dog won't hunt.
The internet swears that a male birth control pill is in final testing and should be around in a few years. SIGN ME UP!
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't hate kids normally. In fact, I'm really good with kids. Other peoples kids. I'm not sure I'll ever have them myself. I'm sure it's beautiful, and changes your life in great ways, and blah blah blah...
I'll be in Barcelona for a week in February, I'll consider having kids when they make a 2 week diaper. Till then, it's strictly things that use litter boxes.
-T
Posted in Travel | Tags airlines, baltimore, birth control, fat kids, kansas, travel | 9 comments | no trackbacks
Posted by todd
Fri, 16 Dec 2005 04:45:00 GMT
Change is a difficult thing for most people.
Just to be clear: I'm talking about life change.. not quarters and pennies.. that stuff sucks and is all over my apartment. Damn pockets.
Look, I'm a busy guy, I don't have time for all this "counting change", and "not letting my cat eat dimes" stuff. If cats weren't supposed to eat dimes, they wouldn't be shiny. I treat the floor like a savings account.
Fucking cats.
ANYWAY, Change is difficult.
It's because no matter how much of a rock star you THINK you are, at the end of the day, you do the same things all the time. Most of the time life is a rut, and we like it that way.
So, as you may have noticed from my disappearance, preeeeetymuch everything in my day to day life has been modified in the last few months.
The point of this story is, starting a new job, and 3 days later being shipped out all over the east coast, is a lot of change. It's also a lot of expense reports, and pretending you know what the hell it is your new company does after 3 days. Oh yeah, and hating cops.. fuck cops. (Yay for having an anonymous'ish blog!)
The trip involved Baltimore and Annapolis MD, Charlottesville VA, and Ft. Lauderdale FL. They were all vaguely interesting places, but they all have problems as well.
If you watch the news, you may have noticed that airplanes are dropping out of the sky like goddamn raindrops. I seem to have missed all the excitement by about one day. Every time I got into an airport, I watched on TV some bad thing happening in another airport. Luckily, I know statistics... if something bad is happening in ONE airport, the chances of things happening in TWO airports at the same time is unlikely. Right?
That's why I'm always strapped when I fly. (Attention FBI: This is a joke)
Literally every airport I was in had some issue. In Charlottesville, they closed the airport due to snow. It should be pointed out that it wasn't snowing. After pressing the point with the airport people, they let me in on a secret that you might want to know about. The Charlottesville airport has NO FUCKING GROUND RADAR. Basically this means that they can't land airplanes there if it's CLOUDY.
I asked them where I could rent a horse and buggy to take me to another airport, and got a bronco. A few hours later I flew out of Richmond.
Ft. Lauderdale was actually very nice, other than the fact that it had no live trees left due to the hurricane. My hotel room at the Westin Diplomat was seriously bigger than my apartment. So at the end of the trip it was like a little vacation.
I sat out by the pool with my laptop and drank fruity drinks and looked at the woman.
That wasn't a typo.
There was only one attractive woman in Ft. Lauderdale as far as I'm aware. Everyone else was old and fat. Apparently San Diego has ruined me, so I'm stuck here now.
Happy New year!
T
Posted in Travel | Tags annapolis, baltimore, busy guy, charlottesville, Ft. Lauderdale, new job, radar | no comments | no trackbacks
